Monday, October 6, 2014

Getting Over Heartache

Just like that it was over.  He left me.  No warning.  My life changed forever.  I was no one’s wife.

I was left alone, depressed, scared.  He wasn’t just my husband; he was my best friend, lover, my world.  I trusted him with my life and he ripped it to pieces.  My past felt like a lie.  My future…unknown.

As with any huge obstacle in life, it’s best to take one day at a time, one baby step at a time. 

I went through each room cleaning floor to ceiling and wall to wall.  I wanted no trace of him at all.  At first it started out as packing up his stuff (which he never came to get). 

I then re-arranged furniture in a different place because I didn’t want him to be able to imagine our home.  And now he can’t.  Every room is different from what it was when he lived here.  He never let me move things where I wanted and it felt so good to look back at each room with satisfaction. 

I went room to room taking inventory of the things that filled my heart with joy and things that filled it with yuck.  If it didn’t bring me joy it went in the garbage.

I learned a lot about Garett while cleaning and cleansing my home.  This was not his first affair.  He had been planning to move this one here for some time.  While the bookshelf we once shared held my self help books and having a closer relationship with God and my family; his books were all get rich quick and how to make money through different means … none having to do with hard work.  There was more but I can’t bring myself to share that at this moment.

Every wall wiped down, every carpet, floor and window cleaned.  Furniture moved.  Even the toaster had a new home. 

This was the first step to putting the pieces of my life back together.

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