Sunday, September 14, 2014

How to Cheat When You're Married

So you’re married and it’s getting old.  Your spouse doesn’t give you the attention they once did.  It’s all about the kids, bills, work, pets, home/vehicle maintenance.  Love, affection, sex… about extinct.

Then there’s that guy/girl that laughs at everything you say, touches you, gives you attention, makes you feel good about yourself.  They listen to you.  They become a good friend, confidant.  It begins innocently …texts, emails.  It’s not cheating because there is zero physical contact… you tell yourself.

It sneaks up on you before you know it.  Texts, emails, calls, lunches, drinks, dinner, intimate conversations …you know you shouldn’t but it all feels so good.  Makes you feel wanted as a sexual human being.  You find yourself thinking of them and even while you’re with your spouse your mind is with someone else.

No one has ever made you feel as good as your new lover does.  They are fun and carefree.  No worries of kids, schedules, bills, pets, work.  Only an intense affection and sex you do not want to give up.

You owe it to yourself to be happy.  We only get one life so why shouldn’t you spend yours happy?

Because you made a vow in the presence of your family, friends and God. 

Maybe your spouse would give you the same love and attention if you gave them the same love, attention, time, texts that you are giving your lover.

Go to your spouse.  Tell them you are unhappy.  Tell them what you need.  More than likely they want and need the same.  So work together to get those kids to bed by 8, cut kid sports to one per season, slow down your schedules, don’t worry about the sink full of dishes.  Get yourselves in bed by 9.  Make time for each other at the end of each day to lie in bed and talk about your day.  You loved each other once so build on that.  Give your spouse the time you have given your lover to make you happy.

And STOP fucking that home wrecker!  If they can do it with you, they WILL do it to you!  They obviously do not value marriage vows.  So when they talk of someone at work and you question the relationship and they say, “Oh, Honey, they’re married!”  Who cares!  You were too!

You may think it’s all fun and carefree and it is… no one bitching at you to cook, clean, throw out the garbage, mow the lawn.  It’s all a good time.  But a year from now you will have the same bills on the counter, same socks in the corner and someone bitching at you to throw out the garbage or make dinner.  But you will have also hurt your children, your parents, your spouse’s parents, friends and family.

Before you hurt all the people in your life, TRY to fix your marriage.

You did everything you could to make your marriage right.  Nothing has changed.  As you end your marriage treat your spouse with the honesty, kindness, and compassion that you want from them. 

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