Sunday, January 13, 2013

This is Now

Funny how fast so much has changed in my life. Just two short years ago I knew exactly who I was, what I wanted. 

My life was everything I wanted it to be. My family meant everything to me. I loved me.

Now... I'm broken, disappointed, abandoned, wrecked... alone.

Garett, the man I thought could do no wrong, has done the unthinkable.

Mason is now 21, married (to Mandy) with a 3 month old daughter (Nora) of his own.  He is still in college and working full time.

Chance is now 18. He's a senior in high school. He is also taking college classes.

Although my boys have grown up and stopped needing me, I'm so very proud of them and the men they are becoming. 

EVERYTHING in my life has changed. My boys no longer need me. Garett has been living with trash (supporting her and her 12 year old daughter).  Losing my family, my marriage, my sense of self, my home.

So I was a little complicated. I was still the most optimistic person you ever met. I was happy. I had so much gratitude

Now I've turned into that ugly, negative person I've always been so annoyed by.

Depressed. Lonely. No hope. No future. No love. No family. Nothing.      

So now what? .... I have no idea.

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