I’ve always been scared to have surgery. I thought I would never wake up and die on the table. Nice thoughts, huh?
Chance dropped me off and I walked in alone….and cried. I had been there for his surgeries, worried, waiting, ready to take care of him. Where was he? With his whore.
Before being admitted my mom showed up and stayed to take me home.
I felt numb as they worked to get me ready. All I could think about was Garett.
I started to cry. The nurse said, “Oh, don’t worry honey. Everyone gets nervous before surgery”. But that wasn’t the reason I was crying.
I couldn’t believe he wasn’t there for me. How much more pain did he want to cause me?
While in the operating room they put the mask over my nose and mouth. I was out.
I vaguely remember the nurse close to my face as I opened my eyes. I asked her, “Did my husband call?”
She shook her head, “I’m sorry. No.”
I cried and again I was out.
My next memory was being at home surrounded by family – Mason, Mandy, Jesse, Stephanie & kids, Chance and my mom. I felt loved and it felt good.
I don’t remember putting on my cloths, leaving the hospital, the drive home, stopping for pain meds. It was the only time I didn’t think of Garett. Well, maybe I did but I don’t remember.