Thursday, July 12, 2012

Please Leave My Husband Alone

Sun 7/8/12

Mason and Mandy went to meet my mom and brother, Jesse, for lunch.  Neither Chance nor I wanted to go.  I just couldn’t (still can’t) face people.

I’m just SO embarrassed.  I always talked good about him.  Told everyone how he was the kindest person I’d ever met.  How he was my rock.  How I always felt he was too good for me.  I guess I was right.

After Mason and Mandy came back, got their things and went home, Chance and I were just …. There.  Stunned.  Still crying.  Missing him.

My emotions are all over the place:  Optimistic - I know we can save our marriage, everything will be ok.  Hurt – How could he lie to me for over a year!  How could I EVER trust him again!  How could I ever trust myself again?  Anger – I hate him for what he’s doing to me, our kids, our family.  I just want to punch him in the face.

I found her on Facebook and sent her a message: 
You are breaking up 25 years full of love and laughter. Please leave my husband alone. I’m not giving up on us. I love him. We have 2 kids and a granddaughter on the way. He is going through a mid-life crisis. Please leave my husband alone.
No answer.  Instead she blocked me.  I can no longer see her profile.  It’s actually a blessing.

Garett stopped by after work to pick up some cloths I packed from him.  I couldn’t help myself; I went out to see him.  I guess I was hoping he would hold me and tell me it was all a big mistake… but he didn’t.  Instead he stood there looking off as if I was wasting his time.  Anger rushed over me and I lunged at him, grabbing his shirt and ripping it right off.  I was yelling, crying, making a scene.

After I went inside I immediately felt awful.  I called him.  It took 5 times before he picked up (I don't blame him. I really lost it).  I told him I was sorry. And not his kind of sorry (sorry the way it was done). I was sorry I did it at all.  He thanked me for that.  I told him he had over a year to deal with his emotions.  Mine were new and raw.

Again I begged and again he said no.

I went to bed that night only to toss and turn.  I couldn’t help myself.  I called him.  He said he wanted to move her here to our town, buy a house and get married.  I asked him what the hurry was.  Then it hit me.

“Is she pregnant?”

No answer.

“IS she pregnant?”

No answer.


“No. No.”

I don’t know what to think.  I mean it took him forever to tell me about HER.  I was feeling sick.

I told him I wasn’t going to call him today and he should take this time to REALLY think about what he was doing… but to call me when he missed ME.

I didn’t sleep at all that night.

Mon 7/9/12

I didn’t hear from him all day.  Nothing.

I couldn’t help thinking:  Doesn’t he care how we’re doing?  Do we food?   Do we have money?

Nope.  No concern at all.

I cried all day, and he… who knows.

Tue 7/10/12

I sent him texts.  No reply.  I called.  No answer.  I left a message.  No call.

Again, I cried.

I finally fell asleep sometime after 1AM only to wake up at 3:30AM.  It's now 11:55PM on Wednesday and I have yet to go to bed.... Today was not any better then yesterday or the day before.

In fact, it was much, much worse.

9 Friends Commented:

Thisisme. said...

I just wanted to say that I am so desperately sorry that you are having to go through all this heartbreak and all the other emotions that you are feeling at the moment. There's nothing else to say really, but I will remember you in my prayers.

Marchat said...

I don't have any word to write! Am speechless! Am so so sorry! Please keep yourself calm as much as it is possible! All my thoughts on you !
( from the other side of the world)

Crystal said...

I am very sorry to hear this. I know I don't know you, but I honestly feel for you in this situation. I can't even imagine the pain and heart break you must be going through right now. But just believe that God has a plan for you. I hope for the best for you and your family and I will pray for you and pray that your husband gets some sense knocked into him. xoxo

~ Mona said...

Thank you so much. I'm still in so much hurt, shock. I've never been this shaken or betraied.

Camille Griffiths said...

What kind of person would agree to lie to someone's wife for over a year. She is an awful person, don't waste your time on her.

I know nothing can make you feel better at this point... But time will make it better... And you will have a beautiful granddaughter soon, and that will bring joy back into your life. <3

Marlee said...

Wow, I don't even know what I could possibly write to help you feel better. Just reading your story made my heart sink; if I was in that same situation with the man I love I have no idea how I could even get out of bed in the morning. I feel for you, and I hope things get better!!

~ Mona said...

Unfortunatly it gets worse. I just haven't had time to post. It all still seems SO unbelieveable to me. I wish I could wake up from this nightmare.

Marie said...

Mona, I am so saddened to hear that you are going through this. I am thinking of you. Remember that you don't have anything to be ashamed of. He does. Don't let this be something that makes you retreat from people. Keep people close and let them help you.

The Mommist said...

Hi Mona! I know how much it hurts, believe me. You have to be tough and focus on the people who love you & will love you unconditionally, your children & grandchildren. Cheating is because of a mid-life crisis, it's a choice. He chose that. Stay fabulous and focused. It's hard but very much attainable. Would it matter much to you if the other woman came clean & told you about it before you found out yourself?