Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Begging Again


Fri 7/6/12

I couldn’t sleep.  All I could do was cry.  Then somehow sleep came.

I woke up in time to catch Garett before he left for work.  He usually kisses my forehead and tells me he loves me…it hurts to think I’ll never have that again.

I begged him again.  I’ll do anything.  Please don’t leave me. 

He was still as cold as the night before.  He hugged me hard, kissed my neck, told me he loved me and we’d talk when he got home.

Nothing changed when he got home… not my pleas, not his wanting to leave. 

I grabbed his phone and told him I was going to call her.  As I picked it up I saw his text to her right there: I love and miss you too.

He tried to yank it out of my hand and I knew he could so I threw it as hard as I could.  I cried, and cried.  How could he do this to me? To us? To our boys?  To out families?

Chance came out of his room grabbing me, holding me tight and pulling me away from Garett.

I couldn’t breathe.  The room started spinning.  I thought I was going to vomit. Then I thought I was going to pass out.

Chance took me into Mason’s old room and my son, wise beyond his years, said he thought it was best if I stayed in there for the night.

I cried.  Chance cried.  Garett sat in the livingroom drinking beer and watching tv.  Every so often we could hear him laugh.  That hurt me too.  How could he laugh while our family was falling apart?


1 Friends Commented:

Karen and Gerard said...

This is heart breaking. I don't understand how people can throw away their marriage like this. You are still his wife so to fight for him, you have to buck up and make yourself as attractive as you can and be really nice to him to make him want to stay. Crying and begging isn't attractive so probably makes it even easier for him to leave you. I have no experience in this area.