Thursday, June 2, 2011

My Lonely Nest

I don’t know what’s going on or even when it happened.

Everything was great. I was happy with my little family. Our home was full of laughter and fun. Gman and I were happy. We have financial problems and yes, we’ve had our ups and downs but who doesn’t.
Now M has moved on and out. I know that’s what my birdies are supposed to do - I’ve been getting them ready for it since the day they were born.

C is ending another school year. He’ll be a junior next year, which only reminds me that he'll soon be moving on and out too.

Gman stopped wearing his wedding ring for awhile. Although, he’s back to wearing it, I still feel a distance between us.

We don’t spend ANY time together. I work. He works. Now that GOTR is over his softball season has begun. We don’t even watch the same stuff on TV. He parks it in front of the big screen watching American Idol, Glee, baseball, Rules of Engagement… I’m in the bedroom watching Survivor, Dancing with the Stars, Biggest Loser and Vampire Diaries

He loves everything outdoors. Heat and humidity are my #1 migraine trigger.

He drinks. I can’t drink anymore – another migraine trigger.

I could go on and on but you get the idea.

Bottom line… What the hell happened?

21 Friends Commented:

Rebecca Burgener said...

Mona,

DVR a few of your shows and go cuddle with your honey. Be deliberate in finding things to do together.

What about nighttime outdoor activities?

What about asking for the virgin version of drinks?

Schedule a date night.

You know your life better than I do. Brainstorm!

A happy marriage is worth it.

Rebecca

More Milestones said...

Rebecca, thanks so much for the great advice. You're right. I do need to start brainstorming and get back to the good things before it all spirals out of control.
Deep down, I DO know this... I just gotta stop feeling so damn sorry for myself.

Grace said...

I think Rebecca has some great suggestions there and communication is everything in a marriage. I'd brain storm with my hubby to think of things you both can do and laugh together. Even if it is making your own date night by fixing a supper and having a movie to watch at home.
I found you through the cup of joe blog hop and am now following you on GFC

Arlee said...

My husband and I hit a rough spot a few years ago. We made it through, and as much of a cliche as it is, we are better than ever. The hard part was just acknowledging that there was a problem. We were just sort of sharing a house, not really connecting. Once both of us admitted that we were equally unhappy, without laying blame or pointing fingers, the real work of finding each began. Now we make spending time together a priortiy.
Hang in there! I know it can feel lonely sometimes, but it will be worth it in the long run!

Beverly @ The Buzz said...

Hopping over from Java's Follow Friday. Don't know that I can add anything more to the good advice already given. Hold on and keep going. Will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

Summer said...

Great blog!
I'm a new follower from the hop!
Come check me out when you get the chance:
Carolina Summer

clavs said...

hi there! Happy Friday Blog Hop! I am your newest follower, I hope you could visit and follow my blog as well.tnx!
http://clavsupclose.blogspot.com/
clavs

Introducing Mr. Cool said...

Everyone is growing up just make sure you're not growing apart. Maybe you ought to tape a few of your shows to watch later & go in there, and sit with him & watch a few of his. You both might get to like it. Just a suggestion.

Karen and Gerard said...

We usually watch separate shows to but manage to find some we both enjoy. You really have to make an effort to find something to do together. My husband and I play tennis, go for walks, volunteer at church together, discuss books we read, go to Hometown Buffet for breakfast on Saturdays, do our grocery shopping together (although we split up in the store).

More Milestones said...

Thanks for all the great advice. I'm working on it.
: )

Manzanita said...

What happened? You are both probably around age 42. At that age a number of planets make serious aspects together. It's a difficult time because people feel like they want a change but as the planets pass on by, your life will get back to normal.

I'm a follower from the over 40 blog hop.

Manzanita@Wannabuyaduck

Abbie said...

It happens to some couples. When the kids are hardly home, and you see it is just the two of you.

What are we supposed to do now? Hi stranger. People have been in mom and dad roles for so long its hard to remember you used to be a couple.

It will take awhile to get to that stage but if you both want to work for it. It will be so worth it.

Good Luck!

Beth Zimmerman said...

Oh Hon! I'm sorry! And I feel your pain! I could relate to most everything you listed except that my hubby watches westerns and hallmark channel while I watch HGTV and crime shows. We meet in the middle for FOOD Network! I usually park myself in a recliner in the living room (laptop in my lap) just for some together time but I wouldn't call it communication. Here's hoping we both make it through to the other side!

More Milestones said...

Thanks Ladies,
We all go through our ups and downs. I'm just hoping for the best and working toward getting out of this funk.

Nance Mommy said...

I am a new follower and I love your honesty. I know how hard it is to open yourself up to all that. I agree that you can't let something happen that you don't want to happen. Take some time to stop and remember why you did fall in love with each other. Hope things get better :)
http://www.mosscoveredpath.blogspot.com/

More Milestones said...

Thanks Nance. I'm hoping to we'll be able to spend more time together this summer.

Possum Hill Farms said...

Reading your blog is very sobering, which is a good thing. Too many blogs are sugary-sweet and ignore the hard parts in life. Thank you. I'm now following back.

More Milestones said...

Thanks so much but really... just being me... good and bad. Using my blog as my journal so it's pretty much raw... but I'm hoping to heal soon.
~ Mona

doreen said...

Such great advice but sometimes you just have to find the spark of communication that brought you together.
My husband and I have 5 children; 4 married with children and one living the bachelor life in his own home.
It was a rude awakening to be cooking for 2. To answer the phone and have it actually be for me.
My husband and I got a homeless lady. We had that connection and now after 2 years we have found a home for her and here we are...2 again.
We got 2 dogs! They are now our connection. We have agreed to talk for 15 minutes everyday no matter what...
Good luck and keep us posted!!

More Milestones said...

Thanks Doreen. I look forward to getting to know you.
~ Mona :)

Mee2 said...

New reader here. I am pretty sure all relationships have ups and downs. I also feel that anyone in a relationship falls in and out of love. Over and over. I know I have. The most important thing to remember is, although you may fall in and out of love, for whatever reason, it is what you do when you are OUT of love that makes all the difference.

I wish you the best of luck. I hope to keep reading about the status of your relationship and everything else. :o)