I know nothing could stop him if he really wanted to cheat - When we first started seeing each other, he was seeing two other women at the same time. (long story)
I knew the guy he was when we met. I wanted him. I married him. I love him. He says he’s not cheating and he loves me. I have to believe that – wasting time thinking anything else would drive me nuts.
Insecurity is NOT a good thing. It does NOT feel good. Wondering if he’s cheating, thinking of following him on and on and on…. Time wasted trying to prove something. Trying to prove that he’s a cheater. Trying to prove he’s a great guy.
If he is a great guy, I’m treating him like crap – always questioning, pouting, bitching, being depressed.
If he is a cheater, I’m really making him feel ok with his decision – you know with all the pouting, bitching and such.
So where do we go from here? I don’t know. Time will tell.
I won’t spy on him. I can’t change him. I can’t make him love me forever. I can’t waste MY life, MY time. I need to take back all the wasted time of worry and wonder. He’s going to do… whatever - whether I’m watching or not – whether I catch him or not.