Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Coming Clean

It’s been a long time since I’ve seen my extended family. I’ve gained SO much weight; I’m embarrassed for my family to see me this way…. I mean REALLY, I’m literally twice the size I used to be.

I recently traveled 3.5 hrs back home for my aunt’s funeral (dad's sister).  I’ve missed them all SO much.

My visit left me with many regrets (a feeling I’m not used to).

With the power of Facebook, I sent the following message to some of those family members:
I want you all to know just how much I love you.

I am so sorry for being away for so long. To be 100% honest with you... it was my HUGE weight gain that kept me away. I was.. am SO embarrassed with what I've done to myself that I wanted to wait until I was "back to normal".

Where did that get me? Missing seeing my tia. Missing telling her how much I love her. Giving her a hug and seeing her smile one more time.

I love you all SO much and I don't ever want to miss a chance to tell you. I don't ever want to miss a chance to hold you and let you know just how much you mean to me. I think of you all often and love you ALWAYS.
It never gets easy to say you’re sorry and announce your failures. I just hope these wounds will now begin to heal and we will be as close as we once were.

8 Friends Commented:

Java said...

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chubskulit said...

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Praises from a Wife and Mommy! said...

This must have been a super hard post to write! I am sure your family is showing grace and love! Remember Jesus see's your beauty!

May said...

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Jackie said...

This had to be so hard to write. I have had some of the same feelings. I mostly have avoided high school/college friends because of my 50+ pound weight gain from the time many of them last saw me. It's a waste of time to feel this way though and I'm working on it. Yet another thing we have in common. (smile).

Jackie

More Milestones said...

Thanks so much, Jackie.
It really is hard facing the fact that you are not who you used to be... and even harder to say it out loud.
((( hugs )))
~ Mona

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