Monday, January 3, 2011

Insecurities

This past weekend, Gman hinted around that he would really like to make a trip back home (about 2.5 hrs away) - high school friends were getting together at the local bar and it's been years since he's seen them.
I didn’t really want him to go by himself. It’s not that I don’t trust him. I just don’t ever want to lose him. I also didn’t know what kind of chicks would be hanging around. I don’t know these people (Gman & I met after our high school days).

I started feeling very insecure, jealous, icky. I just started to imagine him having fun with all these great looking woman hanging around.

But you know, if you squeeze someone too tight they start to fight just to breathe.

So I didn’t tell him how I was feeling. Instead I told him he should go and have fun. I put a smile on my face, gave him a hug and kiss and sent him on his way.

I called him just 2 hrs after he left to see how the drive was going. He was almost at his parents’ home. He would stop to say hi then he would be heading out to meet his old friends and classmates.

As I hung up, I pushed the anxious thoughts out of my head and kept busy going through my much neglected emails.

He called me sometime after 10pm – he was on his way home. I was excited. I did admit to him that although I was feeling like an insecure idiot, he really shouldn’t drive home that late (especially that long a drive). He laughed at me and said he’d see me soon.

After all these years, he still makes my heart beat faster. I’m hoping that he drove 2 and half hours back to me because he feels the same.

3 Friends Commented:

Sherri said...

it's so nice to know someone else has the same insecurities as i do!

i hate that i get so jealous and worried and anxious.... and i'm sure it drives Coach mad.... he's constantly reassuring me that i'm being foolish.... but i can't help it :)

this is ME - said...

great post. its amazing what you learned- about him and about you - by not saying a word!

Katie
www.todayscurve.blogspot.com

Leslie said...

Wonderful! :)