Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Too Stupid To Get It

Here's yet another of my shameful and embarrassing confessions.  It's really hard to admit just how oblivious I was.  Just me in my own little world.  I hope it helps someone out there who may be feeling or thinking the same way I did.

Reading that book ("Lord, I Want to Be Whole" by Stormie Omartian) got me thinking maybe it was time for me to read the Bible.

Satan lies and puts doubts in your mind though.  He laid huge roadblocks before God's plan for me and I let him.  He made me believe there was no point to reading the Bible - like God really wrote the Bible - come on.  Anyway there would be time for that later - life was busy and I had a tightly packed schedule.  Even if I did read it I was too stupid to understand the words, the message, the meaning.  Did I really want to be one of those people?

I tried to push all doubts aside as I headed to Barnes & Noble.  On the way, I asked God to lead me down the right path.  I told Him (although He already knew) my fear of not wanting to read the Bible because I was afraid I wouldn't understand (let alone pronounce) what I was reading...would that make me evil? 

I was so overwhelmed!  Do you know how many Bibles there are?!  It was a super huge section.  As I walked down the rows of books (all the while asking God for guidance) a cover caught my eye.  This was the one.  I knew it.

Just reading the study information included taught me so much.  I didn't know the Bible was made up of books.  I didn't know the difference between the Old and New Testaments.  I didn't know about asking Jesus into my heart.  I learned I could talk to God continuously throughout the day without having to kneel, bow my head and close my eyes.  I learned the first 4 books of the New Testament (Matthew, Mark, Luke, John) are called the Gospels.  (I always wondered what that meant)

Because I knew many stories from the Old Testament, I decided I would start at the New Testament.  You know, I couldn't pronounce all the words and I didn't understand some of the meaning.  Yet I didn't feel bad about it and I did not feel evil.

Reading the Gospels changed my life. 
Before reading I didn't know the difference between God and Jesus.  They were kinda both the same for me.  For the first time in my life, I felt close to Jesus.  For the first time I felt how powerful and intense His sacrifice.  I asked Jesus into my heart.

I also realized that reading the Bible isn't a one time thing.  I didn't read the Bible and poof all my questions were answered.  Every time I've read the Bible a new message reveals itself.  I believe that's God's way.  He's given me tons of advice and when I really need Him, he speaks to me through His word.

Reading the Bible didn't make my problems disappear always and forever.  Satan still leaves doubts, lies and roadblocks.  Only now I know how to fight back.  I don't shut God out anymore.  I try with all my might to keep a positive attitude.  Now, I believe in His love and know He is always with those who ask.

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2 Friends Commented:

A Little R&R said...

Love it!!!! It is so awesome to read your testimony. Thank you for sharing. I look foward to tomorrow!

Carol said...

Great post!It was really very good.Thanks for sharing...