Thursday, August 19, 2010

One of Many Hurdles

During the time Gman was in the hospital I kept our schedule going as usual.  (I didn't want the boys to know how scared I was that we might lose their father)  We got up each morning and went to school as usual.  It was actually the best thing for me - a time to focus on something else and keep my mind from worry (except for a couple of times when I would call him).  I'm sure it was the same for the boys.

After school C and I would go home to care for Payton and then off we went to the hospital. (M had football practice after school and would visit him sometime after) I would wash Gman (he didn't want the nurses to do it) and stay with him until visitors were asked to leave.  Then home we went to have a very late dinner.  I would then call him and talk until it was time for bed.  It was such a physical and emotional exhausting time.

Although I had a breakdown while talking to my sis-in-law (P); I never let on to our boys my great fear of losing their father.  The only time I allowed myself to lose it was at night on my pillow.  I never even let Gman know how scared I was.

It was just so hard to see him in pain and there was just nothing I could do.  I also felt rejected by him.  Anything I did was just not good enough.  He seemed annoyed with everything I did.  He was grouchy, even mean and that is just not him.  It was a very tough time for all of us.

I didn't blame him for not being himself.  He was dealing with he own set of emotions.

After he was back home, each day got a little better.  Eventually, I got my sweet happy husband back.

They say the stress of medical problems and

hospitalization can lead to divorce.  I can so see that now.  It's so stressful.

There will be tons of marital hurdles to come.  It wasn't pretty.  It wasn't without hurt feelings... but we jumped that one, Baby!  I love you always!

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1 Friends Commented:

Crystal said...

You're a brave and strong mother, I'll tell you that much. God bless you and your family and your husband.