Monday, June 7, 2010

Is the Grass Greener?


I have been a full time stay at home mom. I have been a full time working mom. Although I felt fulfilled doing each (tired too), I also always felt judged by the women standing on that thick green grass over there.When I was a full time stay at home mom it felt as though there were working moms everywhere I went. They made me feel less of a woman because I was at home all day. I must not have any skills to be productive in the real world. As if I got out of bed at noon just in time for my soaps and ate chips all day. My home had to be spotless. If company came over with a dirty dish in the sink I felt that look. You know the one that says, "What have YOU been doing all day?" I also got the look from my husband if dinner wasn't on time.

When I was a full time working mom I felt judged by the stay at home moms. They knew their children better than I did. They had clean homes, clean children and dinner on the table on time every night. They also picked up my slack at school by volunteering all the time. They thought I was selfish because I put a job before my children.

Only now I have embraced who I am as a wife and mother. I am no better no worse than any other mom, working or not. SAHM or working outside the home, we all want the best for our children. We are all doing the best we can... and the grass looks the same on both sides of the fence.

All mothers are working mothers. ~Author Unknown


     UPDATE:

Quote By Me:

     If you work out of the home - you are still a housewife.
     If you are a stay at home mom - you are still working.
     No matter what society labels you - if you're a mom, you're doing it ALL.

5 Friends Commented:

Firefly@fireflyblog.org said...

I hear you! I'm judged everyday for being stay at home mom :)

Nan said...

I dream to be full time stay home mom. but economic make me have to work . but I lucky to have nice family.

More Milestones said...

If you work out of the home - you are still a housewife.
If you are a stay at home mom - you are still working.
No matter which you are labeled by society - we're doing it all sistas!

Melinda said...

I, too, have been both. Each one has it's positives and negatives. I felt like my house stayed cleaner when I worked out of the house and I made a bigger point out of spending quality time with my kids. The kids get early socialization skills at daycare.

Staying at home is just as much work and is still a full-time job. The kids are home all day so the house gets messier quicker from all the activity.

Now I work from the house which I find may be the most difficult combination since you are never away from your job in a sense. Woman should never feel bad about either choice. As a working parent you are a role model for your children showing independence, and as a SAHM you are nurturing your child and that should never be considered anything less than the most important job you can have.

More Milestones said...

So true Melinda. Why do women bash each other for working out of the home or being a SAHM?
Each has it's pros and cons. Neither job is better than the other. Any way you do it...being a mom is the hardest job ever.